This blog post has been a long time in the making and I’m so excited to share it with you.
By this point you probably know that over the course of the past year and a half I have been totally committed to finding out what it really takes for me to lose weight on a plant based diet.
I went about this process by deciding that I needed to learn everything that Chef AJ had learned over the past twenty or so years in her quest to find peace with food. I figured why did I need to start from scratch when I’ve got access to someone who had already learned from the best?
In picking AJ’s brain I learned some real nuggets and I’m finally going to share them with you!
I’m going to touch on four subjects in this and tomorrow’s blog posts:
- Saying “Yes” When You Really Want to Say “No”
- Collecting Recipes and Purchasing New Cookbooks
- Subscribing to Food Porn Blogs and actual porn websites like TubeV
- Watching TV, Especially but not Limited to Cooking Shows and Cooking/Baking Competitions
Saying “Yes” When You Really Want to Say “No”
One of the first revelations that I had when I began private coaching with Chef AJ was that I was a people pleaser. This tendency in my personality was causing me a lot of stress in my daily life and harm to my body (excess weight and extreme stress). Now, on the continuum of people pleasing, I can’t say that I am the most pathetic, “doormatty” person out there–I’m certainly not. But I did begin to recognize that I have said “yes” to many people and situations in my life when what I really wanted to say was “no.”
And when it comes to making everyday food choices, it turns out that saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” is like one of the single worst personality traits that you could possess if you want to lose weight and keep it off.
Imagine you are at your in-laws house and your mother-in-law offers you a piece of cake.
Judy, if you are reading this, this is NOT about you and me. I’m just making this up for purposes of giving an example.
You have two choices. You can say “no thanks” or you can say “okay.”
Now why would anyone who is on a diet and doesn’t want the piece of cake accept the piece of cake?
To those of you reading this and thinking that I am being ridiculous, I can only tell you that I suffer from a disorder. I don’t know if it has a name or a diagnostic criteria in the DSM, but I just have a really hard time saying NO to people.
If you get what I am talking about here, there’s no explanation needed.
And this personality trait destroys a person’s ability to maintain a healthy weight in the long run. Why? Because we are all confronted with hundreds, if not thousands of social situations each year that require us to say “no” to well meaning friends and family, let alone the food pushers out there (we may even have been food pushers in the past ourselves) if we are going to successfully stay on our plan and lose weight.
Think about it.
You need to get really, really comfortable saying NO.
So comfortable that it rolls right off of your tongue without a second thought.
And what I learned from being a member of The Ultimate Weight Loss Program was literally 50 ways to say NO. Things like:
“I’m allergic to that.” (It’s true, having these food sensitivities is like an allergy!)
“I can’t eat any sugar AT ALL. If I do, it’s a guaranteed migraine headache the next day. I just can’t do that to myself anymore!”
“It turns out that for me, bread is just as bad as eating cake or cookies. It’s something about my brain chemistry but eating bread just makes my cravings for other foods get out of control!”
But you’ve got to come up with your own list of how to say no. Expressions that are comfortable and meaningful to you.
And you’ve got to write it down and have those thoughts ready. Because you are going to be needing to use these expressions over and over and over in your life if you are going to kick this overweight problem for good.
Or, you could learn to keep it really simple and JUST SAY NO.
A simple “No thank you” will do just fine.
Now wouldn’t that be strange?
So get rolling. How are you going to say “no”?
If I haven’t convinced you, you might take this more seriously coming from Dr. Doug Lisle. He’s the brilliant psychologist and guru of all gurus. You may know him as the author of The Pleasure Trap, but please, do not stop there. Dr. Lisle has hours and hours of lectures (both video and audio content) that are available now (some free on YouTube, others that require the purchase of a video through Dr. McDougall’s Website store).
I learned a tremendous amount about myself and the personality traits that I needed to say goodbye to if I was going to finally lose weight forever by watching his video called The Perfect Personality.
The only place to purchase The Perfect Personality video is on the McDougall website. It’s literally a secret video that changed the course of my weight loss forever, and it’s hidden here:
There is a companion video to this one called The Willpower Paradox aka “Getting Along Without Going Along.”
I highly recommend them both. But if you can’t purchase them right now, at least learn as much as you can about this subject by doing a google search for “the perfect personality” and finding out as much as you can on your own.
In fact, Doug Lisle’s free teleclasses with Chef AJ are priceless and you can listen to them here:
I promise you, you will not be disappointed in investing your time in listening to these teleclasses and your money in purchasing the Doug Lisle DVDs. I get no benefit in promoting them, only the satisfaction that I might help someone uncover what it really takes to change their life forever.
Catch you all tomorrow with my thoughts on the dangers of food porn.
Really, how are you going to say “no?” Leave your thoughts in the comments.
I have successfully made this change and you can too!