Lesson Number 1 revisited: Trust my own instincts.
I got totally distracted from writing more blog posts in this series by our celebration of Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. In case you missed them, here’s Lesson 1 and Lesson 2. In order to get back in my groove, I’m publishing this post revisiting my first lesson after something came up for me this past weekend.
I’ve been spending a lot of my time over the last few weeks listening to the interviews from The Self-acceptance Summit from Sounds True. It’s the perfect compliment to the type of self-reflection one does when a new year is upon them. This particular summit has been a real eye-opening experience for me. I enjoyed the talks so much that I purchased the summit so that I can listen to my favorite talks a many more times and catch-all of the interviews that I missed.
Of particular note for me was an interview with Danielle LaPorte that I heard on Saturday. She’s been on my radar for years, but I’ve never actually listened to anything of hers, so this was my first taste of her thinking.
Right off the bat, she said something that struck me really hard. It’s something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, and trying on for size ever since Molly Larkin encouraged me to do it in Bright Line Healing.
This thing is so big for me that it is worth revisiting.
Danielle talked about her top three “biggie lies.” These are the lies we buy into psychologically, spiritually, and culturally. Danielle thinks that the biggest one is what she calls “The Lie of Authority.”
The Lie of Authority is the lie that someone who is not you, someone who is outside of yourself, knows what is best for you.
Danielle posits that this simply cannot be the case. She mentions that what it has us do is put people on a pedestal. It creates an addiction to outside input. It creates the phenomenon of the guru that is never questioned.
“What happens is when we do come in touch with real teachings and real masters that have that clear diamond mine quality to them, what we do is there’s this natural kind of handing over of our power where we say, ‘They gave me the breakthrough, they had the answer, they facilitated the change.'”
And that’s only part of the picture.
Why am I mentioning this AGAIN as a lesson that I learned in my first year in Bright Line Eating?
Because this is such a HUGE lesson for me! I tend to be a person that puts a lot of stock into the messages and advice from the people who I perceive as authorities or learned masters. I wouldn’t say I’m a total sheep, but I can get pretty close at times!
My experience in Bright Line Eating, in both using the food plan that Susan Pierce Thompson recommends and taking her advice as far as how to implement habit change, is that I tended to ignore my own experience and defer to “authority” for quite a while before I threw in the towel on the parts of the BLE program that simply weren’t working for me.
I’m positive that this is a pattern in my life and I’m grateful that I have this opportunity to wake up and start trusting myself above anyone else.
It was during this year that I tried on for size just trying to do the plan as it was given to me-over and over-and having mixed results with it. Yes, I lost weight. No, it wasn’t easy. No, it wasn’t effortless.
It was challenging to see it working so well, so effortlessly, for so many others in Bright Line Eating!!! I just wanted to do what I was told and to not have to figure things out for myself.
But the more I tried to force it, the more it didn’t work for me in a sustained way.
There came a point where I just had to stop the madness.
And I feel like I grew up as a result of it.
Now I’m not saying that the whole thing was a wash. Quite the contrary! I learned so much from Susan and the BLE staff, so much that I take with me into this second year that IS working for me. Like the popular expression goes, I’m taking what works and blessing the rest.
I’m learning that only I know what the right size is for my own body. Not some chart, not a doctor’s recommendation, not society’s obsession with thinness.
I’m accepting that loving myself means not having to pursue thinness at the expense of feeling nourished and full. Hunger sucks and I just can’t and won’t do it anymore to chase a conditioned fantasy.
I’m accepting that I am not broken, that there is nothing wrong with me and that nothing needs to change.
That for me, there is no shame in a bite, lick or taste.
That I do find comfort in weighing my food when it’s convenient for me to do so. And not weighing it when it’s not.
That having a plan and “bright lines” when it comes to eating, and not making decisions all the time based on my whims, is actually very healthy for me.
That not eating sugar and flour, and sticking with a plant-based diet, really is what is best for me both mentally and physically. But also that I’m human, and that sugar and flour and diary taste good to me, and that sometimes I’m going to be human. That breaking my bright lines isn’t the end of the world for me.
It’s totally ironic that I learned this in a program that is so focused on rules and weight loss and the promise of someone else’s miracle program. That in Bright Line Eating I can finally let go of the idea that anyone else knows what is best for me.
Bright Line Eating and Bright Line Healing put me to the test. They forced me to deal with my propensity to give over my power to those I perceive as authorities.
As Danielle LaPorte says, we need to “reframe our power when we are in touch with a teaching that moves us . . . own our own wisdom.”
My wisdom tells me that there is so much to learn from the others, like Susan Pierce Thompson, that have walked this path of food hell and food freedom before us. And also that instead of beating myself up over not being able to perfectly follow someone else’s plan, that it is high time I create a plan that works for me, easily and effortlessly. There is only one way to find that plan: I must create it for myself, and then alter it when necessary.
If I hadn’t been pushed to the edge, I would never have seen the view.
Thank you Bright Line Eating for pushing me to see what I hadn’t seen before.
Right now we’ve got an opportunity to learn everything we can from the brilliant Susan Peirce Thompson. I’ve seen her free webinar called The Badly Behaving Brain a few times now and I think you’d be crazy to miss it. Remember, you can always take what works and bless the rest!
99% of people who lose a large amount of weight gain it back again. What’s so hard about sustaining weight loss long-term?
The answer, according to Susan Peirce Thompson, lies in the brain.
When you lose weight, you can do it by overpowering your brain and willing your way into a smaller size.
But if you do that, you’ll gain the weight back, eventually.
Or, you can re-wire your brain to support your weight loss efforts, so that over time, it gets easier, not harder, to keep your weight off.
When you understand the brain and how it works, for many people losing weight suddenly gets easy. And, more importantly, it stays easy.
In the third and final video (and, in my opinion, the BEST video) of the Food Freedom series, Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson explains the 5 critical ways to rewire your brain so that eating the right foods, and not eating the wrong foods, becomes completely automatic. You will understand why you sometimes overeat, even when you KNOW what to eat… and you can begin to feel like there is something you can do about it.
This third video takes it to a whole new level.
P.S. – Remember, this video series is FREE but it’s going to be taken down soon. Here is your link to watch Videos 1, 2, and 3 now.