Like all worthwhile things in life, the experiment that was and is Healthy Girl’s Kitchen is complicated.
I have to say the same for my time in Bright Line Eating land.
There were things about BLE that I’m tearing my hair out thinking, “how did I ever let things get that far?” and many other things that I thank my lucky stars about (the incredible friendships I’ve made, Bright Line Healing/Molly Larkin, eating fat and higher protein foods again with no fear).
One of the things that I’m grateful for is my Mastermind Groups.
Before joining the world of Bright Line Eating Solutions, I had never heard the term “Mastermind Group.” Now I’ve come to rely upon and cherish the relationships that I have and the growth that I am experiencing that are grounded in being a part of two rocking mastermind groups (one formal and the other informal). Thanks Susan Pierce Thompson (I doubt you’re reading this, but if you are, really, THANKS!)
Something that came out of my formal Mastermind call today is the impetus for this blog post. I realize that I had promised you something else next, but let’s just go with this.
It’s a reflection on my ten-year experience blogging at www.healthygirlskitchen.com.
And the beginning of my goodbye. The other members of my Mastermind Group were in total agreement that I should mention this now.
I remarked in my last post that when I started this blog, I had one big question, and that question was, basically, “how is it that thin people stay thin?”
Well, I’m satisfied that I have answered this question for myself, and I’m ready to move on.
If you don’t feel like you’ve gotten a satisfactory answer from me, it’s because I haven’t blogged about my final conclusions yet, but I will. And those blog posts will be the end-the resolution to that unanswered question that I’ve had since I began my first diet at age 15 (when I wasn’t overweight), 32 years ago.
It’s been thirty-two years of my life that have been stolen from me. Maybe longer if you count the first fifteen years of my life when I wasn’t officially “on a diet” but my mom tried to control my weight by doing things like calling neighbors and telling them to be careful not to let me eat too much when I was at their house, or asking me every time I opened the refrigerator, “what are you eating?”
Christy Harrison, the podcaster who produces the Food Psych podcast on iTunes says it best when she calls dieting”The Life Thief,” and at this time, I just couldn’t agree more. Dieting, aka shape shifting, in all of its insidious forms, has stolen much of my life. It started with Weight Watchers and ended with perhaps one of the most restrictive diets of all, Bright Line Eating. But don’t be confused. They’re all diets. Even the ones that call themselves “way of life,” “clean eating,” and yes, even my beloved “whole food, plant-based.” I’ve learned A TON from Christy and all of her guests. Listening to this podcast every chance I get has been a HUGE comfort to me in this time of change.
If in the end you are restricting what you are eating in any way, for any reason, let’s just agree to call it what it is-a diet.
And we all know, “diets don’t work!” But we continue to ignore this conventional wisdom in the hope that we will become one of the chosen . . . a unicorn . . . that magical person who manages to keep their excess weight off for good.
Anyway, I digress. Back to the subject of this blog post. More on that stuff later.
This is the beginning of the end of Healthy Girl’s Kitchen.
My intention is to share with you, as openly and honestly as I possibly can, how I got to this place and all of my takeaway lessons. The place where I’m no longer wondering, and I’m also no longer trying to control the shape of my body.
My big shift didn’t happen over night, but it did happen relatively quickly over the course of about six months.
Healthy Girl’s Kitchen was in part a recipe blog, but it was also me sharing a series of experiments that I ran on myself over the course of ten years.
Here’s a very, very simplified timeline: The first was The Eat to Live Experiment, followed by The Raw Vegan Experiment, The Engine 2 Experiment, The Plant Perfect Experiment, The Ultimate Weight Loss Experiment, and then the Yoga Every Damned Day Experiment (that one where I injured myself and now I live with chronic pain experiment).
The straw that broke the camel’s back was The Bright Line Eating Experiment.
And those experiments are only the ones I can remember off the top of my head!
Phew. That’s a lot of experiments.
Where I am now is The Intuitive Eating Experiment, which includes but is not limited to the acceptance and perhaps loving of what is and the letting go (in the best way possible) of everything else.
There are a few things that I feel I’ve learned along the way, and that’s what my final posts will focus on. I don’t know if I’ll write three more posts or twenty. It’s hard to tell.
I once heard a great quote from my friend Ruchi Koval, “As one door closes, another door is already open.”
I’m feeling a lot of peace in that sentiment right now. And I’m not feeling like the doors that are open for me now have anything to do with shape shifting. I sincerely hope I’m done with that nonsense.
So in the end, what really was Healthy Girl’s Kitchen?
For me, it feels like it was a journey of getting lost, and then finding myself.
My friend Karen says that’s the hero’s journey. So I guess that means we are ALL on it.
I’m pretty raw right now as I write you the beginning of my goodbye, but I’ll survive.
Us heroes always do.