Like all worthwhile things in life, the experiment that was and is Healthy Girl’s Kitchen is complicated.
I have to say the same for my time in Bright Line Eating land.
It’s complicated.
There were things about BLE that I’m tearing my hair out thinking, “how did I ever let things get that far?” and many other things that I thank my lucky stars about (the incredible friendships I’ve made, Bright Line Healing/Molly Larkin, eating fat and higher protein foods again with no fear).
One of the things that I’m grateful for is my Mastermind Groups.
Before joining the world of Bright Line Eating Solutions, I had never heard the term “Mastermind Group.” Now I’ve come to rely upon and cherish the relationships that I have and the growth that I am experiencing that are grounded in being a part of two rocking mastermind groups (one formal and the other informal). Thanks Susan Pierce Thompson (I doubt you’re reading this, but if you are, really, THANKS!)
Something that came out of my formal Mastermind call today is the impetus for this blog post. I realize that I had promised you something else next, but let’s just go with this.
It’s a reflection on my ten-year experience blogging at www.healthygirlskitchen.com.
And the beginning of my goodbye. The other members of my Mastermind Group were in total agreement that I should mention this now.
I remarked in my last post that when I started this blog, I had one big question, and that question was, basically, “how is it that thin people stay thin?”
Well, I’m satisfied that I have answered this question for myself, and I’m ready to move on.
If you don’t feel like you’ve gotten a satisfactory answer from me, it’s because I haven’t blogged about my final conclusions yet, but I will. And those blog posts will be the end-the resolution to that unanswered question that I’ve had since I began my first diet at age 15 (when I wasn’t overweight), 32 years ago.
It’s been thirty-two years of my life that have been stolen from me. Maybe longer if you count the first fifteen years of my life when I wasn’t officially “on a diet” but my mom tried to control my weight by doing things like calling neighbors and telling them to be careful not to let me eat too much when I was at their house, or asking me every time I opened the refrigerator, “what are you eating?”
Christy Harrison, the podcaster who produces the Food Psych podcast on iTunes says it best when she calls dieting”The Life Thief,” and at this time, I just couldn’t agree more. Dieting, aka shape shifting, in all of its insidious forms, has stolen much of my life. It started with Weight Watchers and ended with perhaps one of the most restrictive diets of all, Bright Line Eating. But don’t be confused. They’re all diets. Even the ones that call themselves “way of life,” “clean eating,” and yes, even my beloved “whole food, plant-based.” I’ve learned A TON from Christy and all of her guests. Listening to this podcast every chance I get has been a HUGE comfort to me in this time of change.
If in the end you are restricting what you are eating in any way, for any reason, let’s just agree to call it what it is-a diet.
And we all know, “diets don’t work!” But we continue to ignore this conventional wisdom in the hope that we will become one of the chosen . . . a unicorn . . . that magical person who manages to keep their excess weight off for good.
Anyway, I digress. Back to the subject of this blog post. More on that stuff later.
This is the beginning of the end of Healthy Girl’s Kitchen.
My intention is to share with you, as openly and honestly as I possibly can, how I got to this place and all of my takeaway lessons. The place where I’m no longer wondering, and I’m also no longer trying to control the shape of my body.
My big shift didn’t happen over night, but it did happen relatively quickly over the course of about six months.
Healthy Girl’s Kitchen was in part a recipe blog, but it was also me sharing a series of experiments that I ran on myself over the course of ten years.
Here’s a very, very simplified timeline: The first was The Eat to Live Experiment, followed by The Raw Vegan Experiment, The Engine 2 Experiment, The Plant Perfect Experiment, The Ultimate Weight Loss Experiment, and then the Yoga Every Damned Day Experiment (that one where I injured myself and now I live with chronic pain experiment).
The straw that broke the camel’s back was The Bright Line Eating Experiment.
And those experiments are only the ones I can remember off the top of my head!
Phew. That’s a lot of experiments.
Where I am now is The Intuitive Eating Experiment, which includes but is not limited to the acceptance and perhaps loving of what is and the letting go (in the best way possible) of everything else.
There are a few things that I feel I’ve learned along the way, and that’s what my final posts will focus on. I don’t know if I’ll write three more posts or twenty. It’s hard to tell.
I once heard a great quote from my friend Ruchi Koval, “As one door closes, another door is already open.”
I’m feeling a lot of peace in that sentiment right now. And I’m not feeling like the doors that are open for me now have anything to do with shape shifting. I sincerely hope I’m done with that nonsense.
So in the end, what really was Healthy Girl’s Kitchen?
For me, it feels like it was a journey of getting lost, and then finding myself.
My friend Karen says that’s the hero’s journey. So I guess that means we are ALL on it.
I’m pretty raw right now as I write you the beginning of my goodbye, but I’ll survive.
Us heroes always do.
Wow, I don’t know how long I have followed you but probably 5 years. I will be sorry to see you go but understand and am anxiously awaiting your final post/story.
Wendy I will be so sad to see the end of Healthy Girl’s Kitchen but at the same time I am eager to hear what is next for you. Love and Hugs to you.
I am so impressed with your honesty (always have been). And I feel very much the same about all the “eating plans” I have pursued. I think it has been my way to get to acceptance. And not a waste because I feel good about where I am now. Thank you for letting us into your journey and being a touch point. Love the new found freedom and direction!
I can feel your emotion just reading your words. Big hugs and much love to you, Wendy!
Thank you for sharing your journey!
Wow. Not really know what to say!!
Makes me question things so I like this post. Keep doing what your doing! Look forward ( I think ) to the final posts.
I love you Wendy! ❤️❤️
Are the recipes going to still be available? Some of them are my faves – should I start copying them now?
I have followed your blog for many years and have learned a lot from you and love your recipes. I have to say though that I also hate feeling guilty all the time if I am eating something that someone said is not good for you or fattening. I do not like the 100% compliance of some diets – the fact that you feel like a failure if you have one bite of something non compliant – which I feel leads to overeating (“well I went off plan anyway….”). And I agree that many years have been wasted worrying about my body shape or size instead of just being happy. Thank you for your blog!
Super appreciative of your honesty, glad for your clear-eyed assessment and truly happy for your future.
You are so very brave and inspiring! I am so happy to have found your blog and to now be on this journey with you. Love it all and let it go!
I am SO proud of you. This is what I’ve been waiting for. Your courage in the face of the attacks that are likely to come (and have come previously) is inspiring.
Love ya!
J
Now what do I do? Not lol Have fun!
Wendy,
I have followed you for a long time. I am so happy to see you are taking what has been valuable in each of these programs and getting rid of the rest. Though our paths have been side-by-side, I have mostly taken what could work in my life and never felt as committed as you. Still, your words felt from the heart so I opened myself up to try things I thought were too hard. I seem to have found a place that works for me at this time. I have always wanted to thank you.
So glad I “discovered” you a little over a year ago. I have learned a lot about myself by listening to you! Thanks Wendy, for all you do!
Love you!
Beth
Hugs….
Wendy,
I will miss your honesty. I will miss your insights. I will miss you. Wishing you the best of everything, and most of all, peace in mind, body and heart. Hope to hear from you from time to time.
Nicki
Wendy, as much as I love reading about your journey on this blog, your desire to end it at this point makes sense. Because maybe, going forward, being a healthy girl won’t have quite as much to do with the kitchen…
I do hope you continue to write somewhere.
YOU NAILED IT DORIT!
Your story is so similar to mine.
I am in the process of learning to love myself and that I am enough. It’s time for happiness.
I totally agree!
Adore you and can’t wait to read your BLE experience. I can so relate to it all. Thank you
Wendy, I have been amazed at your willingness to share your heart and time on this blog.
Always a welcome sight in my inbox which is rare for me to say.
We are all on a journey. As one who has tried many path’s I applaud your honest decision
that is right for you. I still hope to meet you one day, and I can tell you now as a working mom
and a grandmother—the best is yet to be,
Sincerely
Susan
Wendy, I’m simultaneously looking forward to your insights in your final posts but sad to hear your blog will be coming to an end. I have my own mixed up history with dieting and am desperately in need of enlightenment, so bring on the truth. 😀 Thanks for mentioning the podcast—I will be checking that out.
Warmest wishes to you for growing deeper in love with self and embracing your personal truth. Thank you for your honesty and courage in listening to your inner voice. It is leading you home.
Thank you for mentioning the podcast, I am still taking my own baby steps to accepting myself and loving myself, just the way I am right now, not some future “perfect”. I am feeling grateful for the many compassionate voices of wisdom who are shining the light for a path free from food/diet obsession.
I,look forward to reading anything else you have to share.
Much love to you, whatever new directions your life takes.
Wendy- i support you in your move to go through that next door. We all continue to evolve by listening to our soul – which is really the most important job of our journey. I have learned a ton from you and cheer and love you!
Thanks for sharing your journey, openly and honestly. I have enjoyed your experiments and learned from your experiences with them. May you find what truly works for you and enjoy the health that brings, emotionally and physically. Your experience is a good reminder to those advocating plant-based eating that it’s not always so simple as it’s made out to be.
Thank you for sharing your journey, you have touched many lives and made them better. I love eating plant strong (have also been on so MANY ‘diets’, starting with WW at 16) and would love to keep the extra pounds off, but when I looked into BLE with you I knew I didn’t want do it. Sometimes it takes going to the extreme to realize there is no real reason to go so far. Fun, pleasure and peace have to come from our decisions.
Wishing you much fun, pleasure and peace in your life. If you stop blogging, you will be missed. Hugs.
None of it was wasted. You wouldn’t be where u are today without the journey. Be thankful for you learned along the way. But the take away is you learned to love and accept yourself. That we are all imperfect and NO one diet is best for all. I too have given myself grace to eat what makes me happy and most of the time that is plant based with a little sugar here and there. I don’t practice eating meat but I will and not feel guilty. I will have pizza a few times a yr. but I also juice and fast some. I’ve taken the best of them all for and made for myself a diet that works and I’m happy with.
https://youtu.be/L0MK7qz13bU
“Let it Go” from Frozen
This is the song that came to mind when I read your post. I have only known you for about a year but I cannot thank you enough for sparing me from doing all of the diets I might have if I hadn’t read your blog. I have lived a life of restriction and perfectionism in so many ways:
Food, people pleasing, perfectionism, ballet (destroyed my knees and hips), I can totally relate. I just turned 60 and I refuse to live like this any more!!! Your decision to “let go” ad I see it, has helped me to realize that I should do the same. PLEASE write a book about all of this!!! We need a hero to save us from all of the HYPE out there.
Thank you Wendy- you are a Rock Star!!!!!
Wendy: I have followed you for years….we have lots in common, I’m from Cleveland, my dad died this past year, I did WFPB, etc. etc. Can’t wait to hear what you will share next!
You’re a great blogger Wendy and I like your style!
When it comes to food and exercise…I wish I were a man. I don’t really see men beat themselves up for what they eat or how much they didn’t exercise. They also seems to breeze by without the guilt of eating, body image, or messing up their children. I’m not sure why as “strong women” we let ourselves go down these roads. We put the pressure on ourselves to be Wonder Woman. I’m getting really tired too of feeling that I’m never happy, good enough, or eating “right”. I know what healthy habits are because I’m constantly listening to some expert on YouTube, facebook, or any outlet telling me what to do and not do. Enough. I’m with you. We need to enjoy our days because one day it will all be for nothing if we don’t enjoy the journey to the destination. I love being a woman because we do have the power to play both sides but I’m just saying…when it comes to food…I just wish I could be oblivious. I’m not going to go food crazy, but just be. Just relax already.
I’ve always enjoyed following and listening to your take on many items. I’ll admit I dropped off here in the end of BLE because I knew it just wasn’t going to work in the long run. Diets just seem to take our power away and we let it (insert whatever diet)! I just want to EAT and not have to classify what i’m doing. I hate the question “What can you eat?” I can choose to eat whatever the heck I want and I do tell people that. I just say, I’m not eating those things at the moment. Maybe tomorrow. I will take what I like from all the realms I’ve let control me and…maybe they’ll all work together for good.
<> I did read the art of not giving a f*ck that you recommended one time. Great book.
You’re a great blogger Wendy and I like your style! I’m happy that you’re doing what you need to do.
When it comes to food and exercise…I wish I were a man. I don’t really see men beat themselves up for what they eat or how much they didn’t exercise. They also seems to breeze by without the guilt of eating, body image, or messing up their children. I’m not sure why as “strong women” we let ourselves go down these roads. We put the pressure on ourselves to be Wonder Woman. I’m getting really tired too of feeling that I’m never happy, good enough, or eating “right”. I know what healthy habits are because I’m constantly listening to some expert on YouTube, facebook, or any outlet telling me what to do and not do. Enough. I’m with you. We need to enjoy our days because one day it will all be for nothing if we don’t enjoy the journey to the destination. I love being a woman because we do have the power to play both sides but I’m just saying…when it comes to food…I just wish I could be oblivious. I’m not going to go food crazy, but just be. Just relax already.
I’ve always enjoyed following and listening to your take on many items. I’ll admit I dropped off here in the end of BLE because I knew it just wasn’t going to work in the long run. Diets just seem to take our power away and we let it (insert whatever diet)! I just want to EAT and not have to classify what i’m doing. I hate the question “What can you eat?” I can choose to eat whatever the heck I want and I do tell people that. I just say, I’m not eating those things at the moment. Maybe tomorrow. I will take what I like from all the realms I’ve let control me and…maybe they’ll all work together for good.
<> I did read the art of not giving a f*ck that you recommended one time. Great book.
There is something warm, intimate and cozy about the name Healthy Girl’s Kitchen but in reality the appeal has always been you. Your description of your experiments in this blog would be hysterical if it wasn’t so painfully true in so many of our lives. It has been a long journey of experimentation for me as well. Thank you so much for sharing yours so courageously and lovingly. I’m not on Facebook very often lately but I always feel very fortunate when your posts show up in my feeds! Always a generous, welcome gift! Thank you Wendy!
Wendy, i have been following you for many years. Although we have never met, we are soul sisters. I cannot thank you enough for your honesty, devotion and time. You have set me free! (well, still working on that!) I wish you peace, love and happiness, all the rest of your years!
I can’t say any of it better than has already been said here, but I will second the motion and encourage you to write a book. You are a talented writer. I’ve been following you for maybe 4 years, and have enjoyed and identified with it all. Best of luck to you!
Wendy,
I appreciate all you have shared and consider you to be my friend.😊 I have followed you for a while now but this is my first time to comment. My life has been overshadowed by weight and body image in a way I am ashamed to admit. It has consumed me for the vast majority of my life as my weight has gone up and down and up again. It steals my joy and I am still trying to find peace at age 49. I look forward to you sharing what you have learned.❤
Renée
You have helped me in so many ways on my crazy food and health journey.
I’ve been a reader of your blog since way back when. I will miss your cooking experiments and recipes, but most of all, I will miss your amazing energy and enthusiasm for exploration.
Looking forward to seeing you Wendy, wherever and whenever we shall meet in person again and again. No need to ever explain any circumstances. It’s all good and there is no right or wrong. We’re all in this together! Love you girlfriend and I’ll be seeing you in and around town!
I’ve been a reader of your blog for years, but I love this! I just hope you can keep blogging. Don’t leave us!
Hi Wendy,
As a fellow ex-BLE participant, I also came to the realization that food quantity restriction=dieting. Food type restriction is different though. I am off the BLE weightloss plan because it made me develop a severe binge eating disorder. I now eat the quantities that I want but avoid sugar and flour as much as possible. I eat more than 3x/ day because I listen to my body’s amazing wisdom. I want to write a letter to STP to ask her why her plan involves TWO major factors at once: the first being restriction of S&F (addiction part) and the second being the restriction of quantities (weightloss part) I very strongly believe that the BLE plan should be twofold. 1- start the plan by cutting out all S&F…addapt to that, don’t weigh and mesure, eat according to the foods recommended and slowly wean off of the addictive properties of S&F. Then and only then, when one feels ready to tackle weightloss because they feel free of the addictive properties of s&f the oerson can chose to apply the weighing and mesuring/cutting back on quantities. Doesn’t this make sense? And, doesn’t it make it seem more attainable and sustainable? I would love to hear other’s opinion. Good luck, thanks for everything (((((hugs)))))
Hi Wendy and Ex-BLE participant – when I first heard about BLE, I googled it to see what bloggers out there were saying about it, which led me to HGK. I’ve read all of your posts about doing BLE, and still decided to give it a tray anyway, as I’m a 9 on the susceptibility scale. But, the difference is that, thanks to both of you, I went into it with both eyes open. Although I joined the BC, I’m still doing just the first 2 lines (sugar and flour) right now, and am keeping that to myself. I’m keeping grains in both my lunch and dinner at this point, and will see how my results are for these first 14 days (on day 11 now). I agree – the food plan as written seemed way to low calorie to me, and I myself well enough to know that deprivation and starvation would set me up for failure.
Sorry to hear you are winding your blog down, Wendy, when I’ve just found you, but thanks again for putting your whole BLE journey out there. Best of luck in the future.
Dear Wendy,
From the type of salad dressing I make and use to the weekly standards of HGK’s Energy Soup, Spicy Lima Beans with Cabbage, Falafel Burgers and many more, you will always play a big part in my WFPB life — with or without the blog.
Happy Trails,
Victoria A
I’m going to date myself…but I remember when you were a member in one of my Peer Trainer 4-some groups…and this blog was just a seedling. Quite the journey! Best wishes in all you do but most important…enjoy the process…what ever it may be!
Has it ever occurred to you to STOP experimenting and start TRUSTING. You obviously have a lot of healing left to do.
Hi S. It seems pretty clear from your comment that you are angry. I also think it’s fairly clear from my last three blue g posts that I’ve moved in the direction of starting to embrace trusting my own intuition. As for the “you obviously have a lot of healing left to do,” part of your comment, I’m going to suggest that you keep exploring your own healing as you learn how to communicate in an effective way with others. If I may suggest an excellent book on this subject, it is called “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.
Hi There- I’ve been reading your blog for about the last 6 years. I’ve loved your recipes and I’ve gone on the journey with you from Eat to Live to Bright Line Eating. I’m not quite where you are yet, but I am getting there. I’ve loved having you in my inbox. Good Luck with everything, and thank you.
Wendy, Sending you love, hugs, and deepest appreciation for the time, effort, and thoughtfulness you have shared with us over the years. I learned along with you, but probably skipped some of the experiments. Inside, I know that the best way to be healthy is to eat good food, of course, but also to have a deep purpose in life. When I’m “busy” doing something I love, my mind doesn’t even go near food. So the hard times have been when stress was greatest, such as dealing with teens, elderly parent with alzheimers, difficult work situations, divorce issues, etc. I’m retired now and have the luxury of good health and the time to pursue activities I love. Just wish there was a way to bottle those sensations earlier on in life when so many challenges presented. I will always admire you for how you went about your journey, how open you are to new ideas and how you incorporated these new aspects into your inner mindset. All the resources you shared have been great, and all have helped. Good luck in this next phase of your life. You’ve “earned” it and it seems very appropriate. So proud of you for making the changes to get the life you want and not sticking with past efforts when you are ready to move on. If there’s a low workload way that the blog could stay up so others can continue to enjoy rereading, that would be super. And as most everyone has mentioned, I would love to keep hearing about your life and what you move on to next, because you are a fabulous writer and empath. Wishing you charm in your life. I know the path you choose will be satisfying. This is one of the best aspects of getting older. We really do get wiser, and if we stay healthy enough, we get to enjoy the new integrated person we are with all of our experiences. I try to keep myself in the 90% range of doing what’s best for health and well-being. That seems to be adequate for now since I don’t have any really difficult chronic issue to deal with, and it allows me to relax and not worry. Learning to cultivate those last two traits has been an equally important part of the journey! Love, hugs, and good energy to you, Wendy.
My whole life has been about diets aka lifestyle changes! How do you stop? I know we must love ourselves but in that aren’t you learning what is best for your body? I love you and your blogs! I need more info!
” . . .and then the Yoga Every Damned Day Experiment (that one where I injured myself and now I live with chronic pain experiment).”
Try the Dr. John Sarno, M.D. experiment! You’ll be very glad you did! But it’s VERY short, lol – you sit down and read his book, (or the Amazon reviews about any of his books) for a couple hours and “voila, probably!” 🙂 miracle-like. Ignore the reviews that say it doesn’t work, cuz it does. Nothing to buy, eat, do – except read and reflect a bit. A perfect reveal /tell /proof that our medical system is full of sheets. Chronic pain gone -yes! That fast. That easy. No money changed hands . . .
https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=forbes.com+pain+sarno&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=dr+john+sarno+amazon&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
Wendy: I swear this is an innocent question, and not combative: did you go back to adding in animal products because you had a craving for them, even after all the years you were plant-based? I ask because I sometimes get down on myself because I am not one of those vegans who is disgusted and repelled by meat. I’ve been vegan for just over 2 years now, and it still appeals to me. (Well, some of it does. Mostly chicken and not beef.) I keep wondering whether that appeal goes away once you’ve been away from animal products for a longer period of time.
Hmmmm . . . I actually went back to eating yogurt first, because I bought it by mistake while I was on Bright Line Eating and I didn’t want to throw it out. Then I was like, wow, this tastes really good and I feel satisfied in a way that I haven’t in a really long time. ON BLE, I was simply starving a lot of the time and eating Greek yogurt with frozen fruit became a huge treat for me. So was it a craving? Not sure. Eventually, when I gave up the restriction that dieting was and I was introduced to an entirely new way of being (self-acceptance, non-dieting, Intuitive Eating), all of the restriction of everything became nonsensical. I realized that for me, I just needed to give up the restriction thing entirely for the foreseeable future. Now, when it came to eating tuna salad sandwiches, yes, it was 100% about responding to a huge craving I’d been having.
I have enjoyed your blog, and I’m so glad you will be explaining all. I have a friend that tried Bright Lines and she has foundered. So, I’d love to hear your about your experience. Susan, right before me, asks about animal products. Have you left plant-based, vegan or vegetarianism? I look forward to what’s ahead.
I wish Wendy would answer my question. I really want to know if, in time, the craving will go away. Even if she doesn’t answer my question, I have a feeling that because Wendy drove herself crazy with all of these different experiments, restriction of ANY kind is just not mentally healthy. I do get that. Oh, Wendy forgot the VFB! I could never quite get behind that one, haha! And when Chef AJ talked about enjoying drinking her ‘pot liquor,’ (was it zucchini water??) well….. I couldn’t get behind that one either. I’ll take my morning tea, thank you very much. 🙂
Hi Susan! Can you be more specific? What craving? How often are you experiencing it?
At this point I would say that my diet is still plant based, although not exclusively. The only things that I don’t eat every (because the thought of them is repugnant to me personally is chicken, beef and any fish except for tuna fish salad (? why, I just don’t know)). My meals are still centered around the plant based recipes and standard dishes that I’ve been enjoying for a while. The biggest change for me is that nothing is absolute or directed by an outside authority. I eat what I enjoy eating, and if that means ice cream, then I eat ice cream. If it means scrambled eggs, than that’s what I eat. I don’t overthink it. I do try to include a source of all of the macro nutrients in each meal though, because I know from experience that that is the most satiating for me. So eating foods that are fatty, like avocado or nuts or seeds is not something that I am avoiding. It’s just the opposite. I purposefully include them in my meals. Am I bigger now? YES? But I’m also not starving most of the time and bingeing on flour and sugar at the end of the day because I just haven’t eaten enough calories.
It’s really only when a fast food commercial comes on, or maybe in the summer if somebody is grilling and I smell it. It’s not like my mind independently starts thinking about meat. In fact, oddly, every Thursday I go out to eat with friends at Wendy’s (so sick of Wendy’s!), and I have no desire for their burgers, probably b/c I can’t really look at people when they are eating meat. Since you were without it for so long, did you stop thinking about it? It’s funny, b/c some plant eaters are lucky (in my view) b/c the thought of eating meat/eggs/dairy again is revolting to them. So it’s much easier for them.
The thought of eating chicken, beef or any fish except tuna salad (for some odd reason) is totally revolting to me. Dairy and eggs aren’t revolting to me at all and never were, I just stopped eating them because I believed at the time that being 100% plant based was better than mostly plant based. At the end of the day, I would tell anyone to just go with YOUR gut on all of this after doing whatever research you are interested in doing.
Thank you, Wendy. I have to say that I drove myself a little crazy with trying to be “perfect” in my eating. I do think it can backfire on you: the restriction makes you rebel against it, and in the end, you eat more — and worse — than you would have otherwise. Just as an example, years ago, I calculated what I spent on food every month. I decided to try to reduce that amount. After a couple months, I saw that my spending had actually INCREASED.